21:58:00

My First Trimester Recap




My first trimester was a mixed bag of feelings and symptoms. For me, it started the evening of Tuesday October 6th when I returned home from work to Ian waving a pregnancy test at me and saying “Come on, let’s do this”. I just could not believe it when it came back positive. I had sort of come to terms that we were going to be a couple who happened not to have any children. I will never in my life forget that moment when I glanced at the test on the kitchen table and seeing the word “Schwanger” and asking if it meant what I think it did. I went into absolute shock after that. Good shock but shock nonetheless. The following day I made an appointment to see a OB/GYN. So now started the secrets and white lies. The appointment wasn’t scheduled for another 10 days so in the meantime it was a beautiful secret Ian and I shared. Those ten days were actually really, really special that we almost weren’t ready to let people know about our baby. My doctor informed me because of the nature of my job, working with young children, I would be given “Arbeitsverboten” which meant I could not work for the entirety of my pregnancy. So although I was only 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant I had to inform my employer and colleagues. So now, suddenly faced with all of this time off work I started making plans. I was going to start an intensive German course, join some other classes, maybe sewing or crochet and get really fit. 

Lo and behold, exactly at the beginning of week 7, pregnancy symptoms kicked in. I felt nauseous and bloated, huge already and of course I wasn’t even showing. I felt absolutely exhausted. I took one to two hour naps every afternoon, much to Ian’s joy because I discovered that’s what he normally did while I was in work. I’d wake up every morning feeling like I hadn’t had a wink of sleep. Everything I did zapped my energy. I would have to lie down after every bit of housework for a few minutes just to regain some strength. It was such a strange feeling for me. I vomited a couple of times throughout the first few months but only because my nausea became so bad I wanted some relief. I would literally feel like I wanted to vomit almost the entire day. I got some relief for two or three hours every evening but other than that I felt sick all day. 

My appetite was the same except all I craved was starchy, carbohydrate rich foods, such as bread, crackers and potatoes. One of the things I worried about finding it difficult to give up, was red wine. I was used to have a glass almost every day. It’s funny how your body protects itself because the very thought of it being on the table next to me turned my stomach. Problem solved. I also went even more off meat. I generally don’t eat much of it anyway, usually just so I’m not really awkward when we go to people’s houses etc. However the sight of the stuff sickened me. 

Another symptom that I experienced was vivid dreaming and especially about my deceased father. It was probably because I wasn’t telling my family until Christmas that I was talking to him about it and he was on my mind even more than ever. Boy, he would have been the absolute greatest grandfather ever but unfortunately he has missed out on all five grandchildren. 

My hormonal acne was pretty bad too but it generally has been since my mid twenties. It was a tiny bit worse, only that it was there for weeks on end when normally it’s only twice a month - ovulation and period.

Emotionally I was just so happy and excited for the future. Nervous too of course. I did go through about four weeks of depression though but I was completely aware of it. I thought at first it might stay but thankfully it was only a first trimester symptom. I suffered from depression for a couple of years after two massive life experiences caught up on me and I guess that’s how they affected me. Thankfully with the support of my husband, then boyfriend/fiancĂ© and my counsellor I dealt with it and came out the other side. I knew it was that the moment it starting creeping back in around week 8. I was unbelievably happy and grateful for everything in my life yet I could not shake this horrid tightness in my gut. Thankfully by week 12 it had lifted and things went back to being celebrated. 

The first trimester also brought terrible longings for moving home. Ian, of course being the sweet man that he is, offered to pack up our lives and go. But I knew deep down I didn’t want to make any rash decisions. I knew I had been 100% happy living in Munich right up until I found out I was pregnant. I just had thoughts of my baby growing up around family, perhaps having a garden to play in, being 'properly' Irish and having a similar childhood to my own. I asked him could we give it two years and then go home. There was no point going back to no jobs, or house and into the care of the HSE when I was receiving fantastic prenatal care here. By the end of my first trimester it had moved to maybe going home in one years time but now we have no plans to move for the foreseeable future. 

Pretty much all of my negative symptoms disappeared by the end of my first trimester, except nausea. That has been experienced here and there throughout my whole pregnancy. I just remember saying to Ian that I don’t know how I would have coped if I already had a toddler and had to go through feeling that way. But I know people do it and it could have been way worse. Although my first trimester wasn’t the best I was still incredibly happy and excited about being pregnant. I felt so special. I didn’t look pregnant but I felt it and it was great. 

Come back and visit soon for a recap of my second trimester. 

With Love,

gem xx
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