20:10:00

Zoe - Month Four

This post has taken me so long to write that I know I have forgotten so many details of Zoe's fourth month. It just so how quickly one forgets, which makes me even more thankful that I am documenting her first year. 


On this day, 23rd August 2016, my newborn baby graduated into infancy. Admittedly, I grieved slightly, as the time was so incredibly short. Those three months were the longest I have ever felt continuously elated. I had a couple of moments where I felt like I was the only mother failing. I didn’t know how to read my child properly and even had times when I was scared to go out with her because I had no way of soothing her without nursing. There was also a brief period (2 or 3 days) where I felt Zoe actually hated me but overall it was the best time of my life so far. I was so scared of becoming a mother. Part of me really wanted it (obviously you know this from previous posts) but another part didn’t. I was a very selfish person and enjoyed my freedom and my mainly stress-free life. But the moment I saw my little girl covered in white goop, exercising those lungs of hers, my entire world changed. Of course there are, have been and will be times when I revisit the memories of life before baby. But nothing will ever live up to getting to know and experience this little human. 

Happy 3 Months Zoe (1st Photo as a 3 month old)

Sleeping

Continuing from month three Zoe, Ian and I shared our (thankfully) kingsize bed. However, very soon into Zoe's fourth month (maybe a week or so), Ian asked one night "Will I try and put her in her crib?". Lo and behold, she didn't wake up as he gently laid her down and spent the entire night in it, minus her feeds. Remarkably this continued for pretty much the whole of the month.



 Every evening she would fall asleep either in my arms, or her swing or in my arms then her swing. When I decided it was my bedtime, I would lift a sleepy baby out and put her in her crib beside my bed. We really turned a corner. 



Don't get me wrong, sleeping with Zoe was wonderful. Feeling my daughter nestled into my body as we both slept was magical and waking up to her smiling up at me every morning was priceless. Yes, there were times I worried that I would never be able to transition her out of our bed, that we might hurt her in our sleep or that we had made a huge parenting mistake. 


She came into our bed because it was the only way I could get any sleep. And it felt so natural.  I wouldn't change the 6 or so weeks she slept with us for the world except the worrying part. However, it was also nice to get her back into her own crib. My body was feeling the strain of sleeping in the exact same position for the entire night. You must remember I'm in no means a young mother. I experience aches and pains now. 



Zoe also started sleeping longer stretches at night. Sometimes 5 or 6 hours before waking. A slight routine was also emerging from her. She would sleep from around 21.00 until 01.00 or 02.00. Then would go straight back to sleep after a feed until 05.00 or 06.00 and then feed hourly until 09.00 but very short bursts. There were a couple of mornings when she was bright eyed at 07.00 or so but when she fell back asleep an hour or so later, we both went back to bed. I may as well when I have the chance. It's really lovely seeing this slight routine emerge. I know I am not guaranteed these hours but the whole month she has been pretty regular. It happened almost instantly as she turned three months. So any mothers with newborns out there who are worried their little one is very unpredictable, I assure you at three months things start to change.



Zoe's napping was still very sporadic though. This month I was generally guaranteed that she was asleep an hour or two after waking in the mornings but after that I couldn't see a pattern. Some days I felt like she was asleep for hours on end and others she was awake continuously for 5 or 6 hours. Generally she still slept a lot.The only places she napped though were in my arms and sometimes her swing but never in her crib. Even if I sat with herself asleep in my arms for 20 min and then gently put her down in her crib, she would instantly open her eyes. Although this month she didn't object to lying in it for a few minutes. So if I was getting dressed or cleaning the bedroom I would put her in it so she would get used to it during the day too. Nut for now as long as we have the night's sleep in it that will do for now. Occasionally if she slept in her pram while we were out, the moment we arrived home, she would wake. I wouldn't even have taken my shoes off. 


Sleeping on my chest did reoccur during her fourth month though. This was something I missed greatly.  When she was a newborn she mainly slept in this position on me and I loved it. She slept better too because she could feel my heartbeat and breathing, rather than being in my arms against my stomach or across my lap. I love feeling her sleeping like this and she is in smelling and kissing distance. 











Out and About
One of my aims for the month was to try get Zoe used to the ergo baby sling. She hated being put in the wrap and baby wearing was something I had my heart set on. When that didn't work, we bought a second hand ergo baby. I put her in it while she slept a couple of times and it worked. However, when she was awake, she screamed. I kept trying though and this month we were successful quite a few times. 


Although it was hit and miss.  I wanted her to be happy in it as it would make travelling alone with her easier. Alas that didn't work out. Because I wasn't guaranteed her to be fine in it, it might just end up being yet another piece of equipment I had to lug around with me. 



The times though when we did get out with it were great. Zoe and I went on many evening walks through the woods, when the temperature reduced a little. It was a bonus not to have to drag the pram down a flight of stairs. She enjoyed looking around, especially as she is much more alert and nosy these days. A couple of times she even fell asleep in it. We still use the newborn insert, which we will have until she is four or five months. The whole carrier is easy to use. In hindsight, I would have gotten one where she can face forward too because she doesn't always like being held against me. I'm also glad we didn't splash out on a brand new one, as we did the boba wrap. 


Going out in the pram was good this month. We still had some incredibly hot days but we got out most. Ian decided to come on family walks every day so it was easier for me to come and in out with the pram. Zoe would give out to us when we put her on so the odd time we gave her her schnuller (dummy). We didn't want to give it too often and just save it for desperate times or times when we know she needs to sleep and doesn't. She is very almost always breastfed to sleep. I did get her to sleep one afternoon while bouncing on the gymball and again I felt like a winner. She slept a little bit more than she usually sleeps in the pram this month. Perhaps we just got out for longer periods of time. 


Thankfully Zoe will let me hold her again against my chest but she definitely prefers facing out the way. If she is crying and Ian picks her up, he will turn her facing forwards and she stops instantly. Every time - unless she is famished. This also carries over to when we are out with the pram. Zoe has taken to wanting out of the pram while she is awake. Which is quite often. Then that also means she wants to be forward facing. 



It's perfect when Ian is with me as then we have a happy baby and I have a lighter pram. However, when I alone it makes things more difficult. Usually she doesn't start complaining until we are close to home so I just pick up the pace and hurry home. But this day (pictured below) she was screaming as I was rushing through the park and I had to pick her up and push the pram with my tummy. When she was little and didn't mind being held against me, this is easy. But now she likes looking around, it is a tad harder. I guess it's a way for me to build up my strength for when she is even bigger. One day I'll be carrying her bike, pushing her pram and holding her hand. This mama needs to get stronger. 


I was not impressed with husband's habit hence the selfie that he received. Zoe doesn't look too impressed either come to think of it. 

Changes/Milestones/Activities
I'm not sure I mentioned this before but Zoe had a belly button hernia which developed a few weeks after birth. It didn't hurt her and the doctor assured us it would be gone before her first birthday. Much to Ian's relief, this month it disappeared and our daughter has an inie. 



The first week or so of Zoe's fourth month, saw the emotional putting away of her 0-3 months clothing. I'll have to admit, I shed a tear. I was upset putting away her few newborn items but I hadn't expected her to be wearing any. Storing away the 0-3 months was more emotional because they were some of the first items we had bought her, they were mainly playsuits and baby grows which were easy to dress her in and also it marked the end of that wonderful rollercoaster of a stage. She wore most of the items in the box but some only once or twice. Maybe if there is another baby in the future he/she will get wear out of them. This also marked the time I was going to start dressing Zoe in actual outfits. Now there is a time of the day to get in and out of pyjamas, although somedays that step is skipped. 


The change in Zoe's alertness and interaction has been incredible. Some days we do baby yoga at home on her changing mat on the sitting room floor. She actually really enjoys it. Although like me, she's not very flexible.

Little one also found her voice this month. Very slightly but some very definite screeches and screams. They are hilarious.


Ian and I have been the worse tummy time organisers. She absolutely hated it so we didn't do it for more than a few seconds at a time and only occasionally. T the beginning of the month, the doctor saw how it was going and suggested we do it more often. It's so difficult though to see your baby cry like that. Zoe's head would just flop down and she would suck her hand. Mid month we used the pillow that came with the playmate and now that she was interested in sounds and objects, we used toys to distract her. It worked. Her head and neck became much stronger. So by the end of the month we were doing short bursts of tummy time but more often. 

From a young age I've been doing sensory activities with her such as following the sound of a rattle or tracking light. This month though she is far more interested and responsive. When she is crying I can distract her with toys, whereas this didn't happen before. She has this caterpillar teething ring toy which speaks and plays music this really holds her interest. This has been the toy we have played with most. She received it from my Uncle john and Marilynn when she was 7 weeks old and since then we have being taking turns to press the button. Obviously I use her finger to press it for her turn. This month there were moments when she was giving out for company and I used this to distract her. 

Zoe got a gift of a black and white contrast book from our friends Paulina, Nico and baby Nico. Up until now when I read she didn't show any interest in books but this month we spent a lot of time looking at this particular book. 


She enjoys her play mat so much more. She reaches for the rattles that are attached to it. She has started grabbing toys and can lift them to her mouth. The favourite nosy toy to grab is this ball which I bought her after her vaccinations. Every morning she begins the day playing on her mat. We turn the musical turtle on and let her kick around for a while - sometimes on her own but mostly I play with her too. This also gets her bowels moving. 


This tatty teddy lovey has become another firm favourite. We like to help her experience many different textures so she really enjoys the softness of him. I've named him pancake. It's really amazing seeing her grabbing, holding onto and pulling things



EVEN MY HAIR!!!!!!


She grabbed her foot a few times as I was changing her but Ian is yet to witness it.

She is dribbling a lot too because her saliva ducts have started working.

We suspected she had started teething when we went for her three month check up. The doctor said it was a bit early but had a look anyway. She responded "Oh look, there's the little buds now. No reason to stop nursing her though". Thankfully they haven't come yet and they aren't really hurting her too much. She does like to chew things though. 


Crying

Zoe still cried a bit obviously but it's changed. She never wakes up crying in the morning. She used to because she had some farts to do. The crying would push them out and then she would be all smiles. This month though, there were so many mornings when I opened my eyes and she was just smiling up at me.  I had no idea how long she would have been awake for. 


When she wakes during the night for a feed, she whimpers a little bit but I pick her up immediately so she doesn't fully wake up. I know this might be bad because she might feed for less time but more often. But I can deal with nursing her often over trying to put her asleep for two hours. 


She cries a lot in her pram but mainly because she wants to get out and spy on the world. She cries at the start of a nappy change but once the nappy is off she stops. She cries when we dress her after her bath. She loves the whole routine up until it's getting dressed time. She even doesn't mind getting out of the bath. It's after the nappy goes on and during the vest part or the clothes part. She gets hysterical and always needs a feed after to calm down. I don't know if it's hunger because sometimes she's like that just getting dressed but not as upset as after her bath. 


She stills cries and nurses a bit in the evening but it's just because she is processing the day and cluster feeding for her nighttime feed. I can always calm her with the boob but not so often, almost rarely without. This makes me feel a bit useless but apparently it can be normal. 

Personality

I think Zoe is a pretty quiet, reserved baby. It takes some work for other people to get her to smile. She's cautious. She is still a fantastic morning person and loves playing with us while she is lying down rather than in our arms.  



It is really hard to capture her smiling on camera. No matter how sneakily we take out our phones she always spots it and stops smiling. Hence why she often looks so serious.  


She really likes the sound of other children. More on that in the Ireland part. 


I feel like she is going to be a little independent lady. She plays for ages on her own on the mat. I have had a baby free breakfast most mornings and even a lot of dinners!! And as I said before she sleeps the majority of nights in her own bed. She is not so cuddly and doesn't love when I try to steal one from her. 


She hates when I speak on the phone and often gives out. This is odd because I thought she would be used to it. My mum and I speak almost every day and have done since she was born. Zoe is usually in my arms for the calls but all of a sudden she objects. 


Zoe is 100% a daddy's girl. He can get her to stop crying by holding her whereas I can't. She absolutely adores him and I see it getting stronger each month. 


To be honest I do find that difficult because I do practically everything yet she feels more settled with him. But that's how things go I guess. Hopefully it's just because I am with her 24/7 so when he spends time with her it's fun. I feel so sorry for my mother now. My dad was definitely the fun parent yet she was the one who did everything for us. Mums are fantastic!!!!
That said, seeing them interact and adore each other beats her being a mummy's girl. It would be worse if she didn't have time for him and he felt rejected. 



Feeding
Little bug still fed a lot and quite often this month, every two hours or so. Except at night when she could go five or six hours without one. She definitely fed for shorter periods of time though. She almost always falls asleep during a feed, well at the end of one but this month she stayed awake a few times for the mid afternoon ones. She started messing with me a lot more too. She is still an absolutely fantastic feeder but now and again she plays the smiling and kissing game I spoke of last month. This only happens once or twice a week. other than that she is still fully focused on getting her fill.


The doctor recommended we start solids next month or when we think she is showing interest in our food and can hold her head up by herself. 


She is still brilliant for taking her Vitamin D tablet crushed up in breastmilk. She has no problem taking it from a spoon. We bought some plastic ones after my mum telling me off for using a metal one, in case she bit down on it. 

Special Days
In the run up to Zoe turning 3 months, I suddenly felt ready to start meeting other mothers and get out and about more often. I felt pretty competent except the odd time feelings of doubt about not being able to always read her cries. I researched some classes and started applying.

On her actual 3 month birthday, Ian, Zoe and I attended a baby sensory class in the city. We sang songs, played with rattles, did tummy time, felt different textures and followed bubbles. The sort of things I had been doing at home for her. But this class was in all honesty more for me. I wanted a support network. As it was 23rd August, much of Munich was still on their Summer holidays so the class consisted of us and one other baby - half Australian and half German. I chatted loads with her mother and even stayed back for 45 minutes after class to talk. It was so refreshing speaking with another new mum. Her baby was already 5 months so she had been through all the stages that Zoe was going through. It was brilliant.


Zoe was absolutely exhausted afterwards. She was asleep going in and passed out straight after we said goodbye. Ian and I celebrated our daughter's first class with pizza from Vapiano. 


The following day, I met up with another new mummy that I know. My friend Paulina, who works for the same company as I do but in a different facility. Her baby is a month older than Zoe. it was really great meeting them. We talked for hours and again leaving I was reassured that everything we have experienced, Paulina also had. Her son was so alert and vocal. It was so interesting to see what I had in store for the coming month. 


We also ate out that bit more this month. We may as well when the Summer was still with us and baby isn't in a routine. We marked the end of holidays with a couple of my friends by going to a local Greek restaurant. 


On 31st August, Zoe had her second set of vaccinations. Only one injection and one orally. Ian came with us again which I was so grateful for. When the doctor beckoned me to pick her up afterwards to comfort her, I just wasn't able to calm her down. Ian took her and held her facing forwards, she stopped immediately. 


At the beginning of September, our friends Amy and Keith came to visit us for the best part of a week. Amy is Zoe's Godmother and a wonderful one at that. My own isn't a member of my family, she is my mother's best friend. I felt it gave me another person besides extended family who was part of my life and I wanted the same for Zoe. Amy showed a huge interest in my pregnancy and was so supportive. Sure look - they even showed up wearing practically the same outfit, that's how connected they are.


The week was so great, for everybody. I made one ground rule - if anyone wants to take Zoe from me - do and if anyone wants to hand her back - do. I sometimes find it hard to offer her to people because I don't want them to feel like they have to hold her. Personally I am still awkward holding other babies so I don't want people to feel the same way. Amy was great at this so the system worked. 


Whenever I feel exhausted and in need of rest, I think about that week they spent with us. They were so easy going. Some days we did things together and others they did their own exploring. They were fantastic with Zoe but even more fantastic with me. They basically came into my house, cooked, shopped, cleaned, kept me company, made me tea and brought me biscuits in bed. They told me my job was to hold and feed Zoe and they wanted to look after me. I felt like a new person after their visit. They breezed into the kitchen and didn't ask where anything was. I felt like their guest but was comfortable as it was my own home. They cooked vegetable packed foods that were mouthwateringly delicious and even treated me to some sweetness afterwards (not that I don't ever eat sugar). Our mornings started late and our evenings ended with great chats and laughs. 


In all honesty, if they started a business doing what they did for me, I would treat all my future pregnant friends to a gift voucher for them. It's the team part that made them work so well. Because they had each other for company it didn't feel like I had to entertain. It was amazing. I felt relaxed, rested, nourished, supported and not at all lonely after their visit. 


We had a couple of really nice days out too. One afternoon, Ian, Zoe and I met them in the English Gardens and we dined in the Chinese Tower Biergarten. That was a really fun afternoon and Zoe enjoyed looking at the leaves over head. 


Another day, we took the train out to Ammersee and relaxed in the sunshine, well actually the shade (the things I do for my baby). We chatted, Keith Swam, Ian slept, Zoe tummy timed and of course we all ended up in the Biergarten by the lake.






The day they were leaving, Ian and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. Of course being the perfect guests and friends, Amy and Keith bought us flowers, a wooden Christmas tree ornament and biscuits. They bought Zoe yet another outfit. Seriously everyone, you all need a Keith and Amy in your lives. 


The following Sunday, Ian and I thought we should mark our anniversary. Before Zoe was born, we marked every single month we had been together. Every 28th of the month we would wish each other "Happy anniversary" (which is our getting together date, not our wedding day). Suddenly we seem to have forgotten to even do that, but now we have vowed to make the effort. 


So, on the Sunday we spent a beautifully hot, Autumn's day walking along the Isar (river) and of course eating pizza.








Ireland
My aim before going to Ireland was to get Zoe on bottles. The reason I was going home was because Ian had a gig on Sept 23rd. I decided I would go the Friday before and spent some time with friends and family. During month four, we struggled so much getting Zoe to take the bottle. I expressed quite often and we tried so many ways. In the end, suddenly one evening she took the bottle for Ian. So I knew that when I returned to ireland I had to get Mum to try it in the days leading up to the gig. 


I was quite nervous making the trip with Zoe. She was more alert and less of the eat, poop, sleep sort of baby that she was the first time we travelled. Plus I was doing this journey alone. I slept so terribly badly almost the entire week before our flight. I tried not to think about it too much but subconsciously it had burrowed in and kept me awake. 


I took it easy all day Friday. I packed, fed and sat while Zoe napped. I bathed and dressed her for bed early evening. Ian took our family photo and the three of us left for the airport. He was quite pensive in the drive there and I knew he was going to miss her so much. A week is a long time when the person you know has only been around for 17 weeks. He brought us to security, we said goodbye and he broke down crying. Neither of us expected that. So I left with a very heavy heart. 


I went through security with lots of help from the staff. This was the first time I saw Zoe get upset just from being in a strangers arms. As I went through passport control, I felt my little baby get very heavy in my arms and she was asleep. She stayed that way until we were boarding. I was chatting to a lady in the queue about motherhood and breastfeeding. She had just left her breastfed 21 month old for the first time. So, Zoe woke just as we were in the tunnel about to get onto the plane. The woman offered to take my bags while I nursed Zoe on the walk on. It wasn't't ideal but it was fine. I am well able to feed and walk at this stage. Zoe was fantastic on the plane. She ate, slept, played. I didn't have anyone sitting in the seat beside me so I could put my stuff on the empty chair. The flight attendant made my cup of tea for me. Aer Lingus have been really brilliant to travel with so far in my experience. My brother collected me in Dublin and our only problem was fitting the car seat Thank goodness for YouTube. 


We had a great time staying in my mum's house. Zoe wasn't too enamered with her chair, as she is used to a swing rather than a bouncer. But it didn't give me free hands for meals etc.


And the shower!!!


Two of Zoe's cousins, Nathan (4) and Jacob (1, almost 2) came to visit a few times. they really loved spending time with her and were so gentle. She watched them as they played around her and slept as they ran around screeching. 



She had lots of cuddles with her granny


And had to wrap up a lot more than in Munich. We left 28 degrees and found it hard to adjust to the cold, damp weather back in Ireland. 


My mum set up the travel cot beside my bed but at the beginning Zoe would not sleep in it. I was actually sort of glad because it was freezing. She kept me toasty. When I could get her to sleep I would take her into my bed and sing my made of version of Hickory Hickory Dock and kiss her head. This always put her to sleep. Sometimes it only took three renditions of up to 10. 



Why wouldn't I want to wake up beside this face? 
I was a little worried thought that she was getting used to sleeping with me again. I felt like we had turned a corner getting her back into her crib and now we were back to bed sharing. However it only lasted the first three nights and then she slept in the travel cot. 




She spent time with her Uncle Eoin (Godfather)


And Uncle Richard




Her Grandparents came in for afternoon tea on the Tuesday. We visited them, when Ian got home on Thursday. And they came in to spend an hour or so with her on Saturday night. She was quite shy at times and fed a lot.



She spent some time in my Mum’s arms but generally spent most of her time with me.


She finally met her fiancĂ©, Keanu and we had a massive cake date with him and his mummy. 


We also met my Godmother. 


Our time in Ireland was so busy. The first couple of days I spent with just my family. From then onwards, we had dates very day. I met up with all of my aunts and uncles, friends - Amy, Gail, Larry, Becca and even my friend, Jax surprised me with a visit a day earlier than planned. So that meant she was at Ian’s gig with me. I met up with neighbours and Ian’s parents. The days went so quickly but I enjoyed every second of it. I’m not sure how much Zoe liked it. She was pretty cautious of people which meant he comfort fed a lot. It was also the first time I witnessed her looking to me when people spoke to her. I guess, she really doesn’t meet many people here. I guess naturally we would probably have lived in tribes so babies would always be around others. Sorry, whenever I do things with and for Zoe, I try to think what we would do naturally. Anyway I vowed that upon our return to Munich we would meet more people. Yes, I am yet to do that. 

Me

Physically I am doing well. My scar is still quite red and pink but still healing fine. The side where the stitch went a little septic hurts slightly. The scar itself is very sensitive and the area around it is numb. I may never get feeling back. 

Nutritionally, I am still doing terribly, except when my friends came to visit. I don’t really get excited about food at the moment. I eat for eatings sake and boy do I eat. I have been getting a lot more of my meals without baby in my arms. I never cook because it’s just me most evenings. Again I have mostly been eating bread and sweet things. It’s terrible, I know. But cooking for one is lonely. And a sandwich doesn’t go cold. When I went home I weighed myself out of interest and I was 4lbs lighter than before pregnancy (thank you breastfeeding). 

That said, my body has definitely changed. My hips are wider than before and my stomach softer. After my section and when my uterus returned to its normal size, I had lost that little lady bump part just below my belly button. Recently, that has started to return and I can feel my ‘muscles’ again. Also my posture isn’t so good from nursing and holding Zoe. I am not sure about my ribcage being larger than before or not because I am still wearing nursing bras.I feel that it is though. My bum is definitely softer, flatter and saggier than before. It filled out a lot due to those lovely pregnancy hormones and now that they are gone so has the voluptuousness. I also spent weeks sitting on the sofa with the little one.  

My hair has been falling out like crazy. It’s gotten especially thin at the front.

Breastfeeding is still going very well. I had to pump a lot this month in preparation for getting Zoe back on the bottle so I could have a night out. Hence, my milk supply has increased again. So when baby goes a little bit longer between feeds, my breasts get very hard and hot. Zoe does feed a lot though so that’s not too much of a problem.


I baked one afternoon for the first time since Zoe was 1 week old. It felt really fantastic, except that I scoffed almost the entire batch of queen cakes. She sat in her chair laughing up at me, while I told her what I was doing step by step.


One thing I have noticed a lot is that Zoe looks at me so much more. I love this. I guess because I generally am the one holding her I don’t see her watching me. This month though, others held her more so I did witness it and it made me all fuzzy inside. 


So, I got to Ian’s gig. My brother Eoin came in to my Mum’s while we finished dinner and I nursed Zoe as much as I could. It was also this night that she first started grabbing her ear and crying (although more on that next month as she actually turned 4 months that day). we thought it was her teeth. So my wonderful brother (father of two) popped to the chemist and returned with a goody bag of teething products. He then got Zoe to sleep by bouncing her on his lap. She rarely sleeps for anything other than the boob. I put her down in her pram bassinet (mum was bringing that down to her room and I was to collect it and her when I got home). So at 22.30, Eoin and I headed to Ian’s gig. At least she was asleep so there was no goodbyes. Mum promised she would ring if she was crying. Mum had witnessed Zoe’s uncontrollable crying(boob calms her every single time, so it’s never a problem for me. But also means we don’t know other ways of soothing her) so I knew she would ring. If Zoe was easily calmed, Mum would prefer I had a night out. So Eoin put me on a talking about Zoe limit. I think I was allowed to mention her twice to every person I met but then that was it. The night was good but I realised just how boring I have become. Naturally though. I spend 24/7 with Zoe and with little interaction of others. Ian works a lot and when he’s not working her is making music so the headphones are on. I don’t really speak to anyone, therefore I have very little news. It also was not the proper occasion for my fist night away from her. I didn’t give Ian the attention he deserved.It was also very loud so having lovely conversations with friends wasn’t on the menu. I would have loved either a get together in someone’s house or a meal out with friends instead. That way I could leave my phone out and didn’t have to keep checking it every couple of minutes. In truth, I didn’t really enjoy it. I felt old and boring and just wanted laughs and chats over food and drinks with friends instead. I was home by 01.00 and Zoe had not stirred. 

Think that’s all I have to update you with now. Below are two photos of me as a baby with my big sister and mum and one of Ian with his older brother. I can see a resemblance of Zoe in both of us. She has the same demented look as I did.





So that was a very poor summary of our fourth month knowing our little girl. Month five should be coming shortly and this time I have been making a few notes.

I hope you’re all having a great day/night.

Thanks for stopping by,

With Love,

gem xx

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